Saturday, December 31, 2011

What kept my barge bouyant in 2011...

So 2011 has seen a bunch of stuff happen and a certain percentage of it has been rather good. Here's what I deemed raddest subject to my own particular evaluation matrixes, neatly ordered in the popular "list" format, haute tension style.

Thursday, December 22, 2011

The 2011 Xray Studios dream journal.

Here's a collection of things I drew, animated or shot in 2011. The soundtrack is a work in progress from my new band The Neptune Power Federation and will appear on the debut album in 2012. The video is in 1080p HD so you can totally full screen that bad boy.

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Love making secrets of the ancients

Behold the ancient scrolls originally recorded by the unholy order of the Shaman of Poontang. Their verses have since been transcribed and set to music by an exciting new rock act known to sexually active Wizards and Maidens as The Neptune Power Federation.

Friday, November 11, 2011

Fail Satan!!

It seems to me in these uncertain economic times one of the few fail-safe methods of ensuring fiscal soundness is to start another band. Or at least that is what the financial advisor inside my head has suggested and who am I to argue with a head partner from Tipton & Downing Financial Planning Strategies and Wealth Mapping?

So form a new band I did. Grammy engravers, start getting accustomed to the spelling of a fearsome new outfit I like to call The Neptune Power Federation. The NPF [as the kids are already texting] like to perform fuzzed up NWOBHM tinged punk rock with a subtle stoner flavour and richly lathered in the occult. Riffs are typically judged successful if they roughly evoke the manner of a large inbred man-child chopping down a tree.

The band features an international lineup of players over-experienced in the ways of rock who collectively have performed in bands like Your Mother, All You Can Eat, Frenzal Rhomb, Mortal Sin, Demolition High Style, Nancy Vandal as well as winning an international air guitar championship. You'll just know them by their way wicked band names The Black Plagums [vox], Inverted CruciFox [gtr], Search and DesTroy [gtr], Jaytanic Ritual [bass] and Mr Styx [drums].

Whats more, this will be the first musical project I am taking the reigns of in my new role as world renowned super producer. Armed with an in the box Pro Tools system and an unshakable faith in my ability to learn stuff without being taught, I will be mixing the debut NPF album here at the Xray Studios sound lab. Sounds like a bit of a crazy idea huh? Well let me tell you a story about another guy from a very long time ago who people also thought had a lot of "crazy ideas". The story is from a little book you might have heard of called the Bible, and the guys name is Satan, and he has complete faith in me and super digs this band.

A debut song is a bees wang away from hitting the internets, and the complete album sometime early next year, hopefully on some kind of sweet vinyl. Until then, allow me to distract you after the jump with a bunch of artwork I have knocked up during NPF fuelled psychosis. You can also visit Facebook and become friends with the band and have future dealings with us. Welcome to the Federation.

Monday, October 31, 2011

Too soon or too late?

The rather ace AMC The Walking Dead series is back on and I'm loving it. Here I tribute it via a double pronged assault of lame pun and Michael Jackson humour. 

Merry Halloween everybody.

Thursday, September 01, 2011

Engage filth protocols.

Bow down and praise ye ancient gods of smut - It's time for the time honoured, multi award winning Xray Studios Swear Word of The Month™ announcement!! Which worthy entrant will have their carefully chosen cuss word immortalised* on the Xray Studios masthead and walk away with an awesome hand drawn piece from the classic Profane Robots of The 23rd Century series?!? The winner is....

Wednesday, August 03, 2011

Strictly for the birds.

Local citizens leisurely morning in a picturesque Canberra park is interrupted by what appears to be a small group of tramps desperately trying to escape the deranged voice within their heads. They run, arms flailing from one end of the grounds to another. One of their number vomits in the bushes while others appear to pass out on available park benches. Is it the decline of western civilisation? Or simply the glamourous set of the new Frenzal Rhomb music video Bird Attack?

It's both!!

Tuesday, August 02, 2011

Expletive saluted.

Another month, another automaton let's it's feelings be known with some colourful language. That's right, announcement enthusiasts -  it's time to unveil the Xray Studios Swear Word of The Month™!! Whose entry will take pride of place on the Xray Studios website header all August and take home a hand drawn rendering of their profanity? Celebrity guest judge Malcolm Tucker has decreed it be....

Sunday, July 17, 2011

Accidentally Cherry Street.

I first encountered the rock and roll force of nature that is J.J Speedball on a mid 90s Nancy Vandal tour of the colourful northern city of Bris Vegas. J.J was playing with his old band Scrumfeeder and within seconds of seeing them performing I could tell we were in B.F.F. territory. Speedball's long hair was in school girl plaits, and the entire band was decked out in South Sydney jumpers and ludicrous face paint. There songs were just as short and stupid as ours and sure enough, post gig we all hit it off.

Our two bands have played a bunch of shows in the subsequent years together, and no matter how sparsely attended, J.J would be rocking at or above 150%, and deliver between song banter that made Paul Stanley seem like a timid wall flower. When not playing, Speedball would often act as our walk on M.C. delivering inspiring messages pertaining to "blowing the roof off this joint" and/or "setting the night on fire". He's also the kind of bloke that would think nothing of selflessly participating in a hard hitting interview on great hair metal albums of the late 80s in a Brissie pub toilet.

When he asked me to knock up an animated music video for a song from his recent hard rocking opus Southside Worldwide I was on the case within moments. Here are the results.....

Friday, July 08, 2011

I've never been so insulted.

Great news major announcement enthusiasts - It's time to announce yet another Xray Studios Swear Word of The Month™! Last month I asked for entries that combined two words to create a foul mouthed compound masterpiece. What followed was simply outstanding and a literary equivalent of the human centipede. There can of course be only one winner, and as usual they will take away a framed piece of hand drawn original art in the form of #6 in the Profane Robots of The 23rd Century series. That winner is....

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Bangkok Shocks, Saigon Shakes, Soft Toy Rocks

I recently became involved in a project called Teddy Rock, which is a new kids album full of traditional nursery rhymes performed in a variety of punk rock musical styles. Teddy Rock is the brainchild of Anton Hughes [who will surely forever be remembered as the Malcolm McLaren of soft toy entertainment] and has been picked up by the ABC who will be releasing the CD and DVD this August. I confidently recommend the album to parents like me who have discovered voices in their head instructing them to dismember the Wiggles or for anyone who wonders what The Farmer Takes A Wife would sound like if sung by Glenn Danzig.

The DVD contains 18 music videos I have been diligently creating over the past several months and the end result looks pretty neat. "I'll be the judge of that" I hear you interject, so to back up my bold assertion here's a few stills from the various songs. Click on an image to embiggen.

Wednesday, June 01, 2011


Short of keyboard cat releasing a new album of Limp Bizkit covers, there is little that makes the internet totally wee it's britches with excitement more than the Xray Studios swear word of the month announcement. This month is no exception with celebrity judges Richard Pryor and Ian Chappell spending 34 sleepless nights pouring over a bevy of high quality entries.

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

I'm moving into Del Boca Vista, lock, stock, and barrel.

Sure there have been some great art exhibitions in the past, and yeah some of them probably had pretty nifty titles. But they have all been put to shame by the maverick genius's at ArtHive and the forthcoming Art Vanderlay Exhibition. The show will feature a bunch of Seinfeld themed pieces [including this Mandelbaum themed gem from my colleague Grant Hunter] when it kicks off this Friday. There will also be prizes for best Seinfeldian dress and an Elaine dance contest. Sweet fancy Moses!

I have contributed a couple of pieces including this one based on a pair of my numerous favourite peripheral characters...

So if you're in Newcastle this weekend and are a fan of awesomeness, you would have to be a complete hipster doofus not to attend.

Monday, May 02, 2011

Wash your mouth out with soap.

It's the 2nd day of a new month and we all know what that means - It's 48 hours after the announcement of the May Xray Studios Swear Word Of The Month™ should have taken place! Cynics will suggest the tardiness was due to incompetence and/or sloth on my behalf but they couldn't be more wrong. This months entries were the filthiest yet and our panel of judges [including Deadwood brothel owner Al Swearingen, 80s comedian Andrew Dice Clay and some crazy homeless guy] were locked away in the judgement chamber for LITERALLY DAYS trying to reach consensus. At the end of their deliberations the winning entry was....

Thursday, March 31, 2011

April Swear Word Of The Month!

April is upon us, making it time to unveil the brand new Xray Studios Swear Word of The Month™!! Which means it's also time to unveil part 3 in the ridiculously exclusive Profane Robots of The 23rd Century illustration series and the lucky punter who receives this original piece of obscene droid art.

Thursday, March 24, 2011

The decade in Frenzal T-Shirts.

Australian punk rock heritage listed items Frenzal Rhomb have been banging away at their so called craft for nigh on 20 years. And for a decade's worth of that time I have been knocking out t-shirt designs for their bawdy and heavily inebriated clientele. The various low brow concepts the band has thrown up in this period appear to be part of a challenge to find the point at which their fans would find a design too stupid, crass or tasteless to buy and wear. The point has yet to be reached, and their fans threaten to never crack. 

I'm not sure if this is every design I've ever done, but it's pretty close. Behold, the gallery of Rhombwear [Click on a design to embiggen]...

Friday, March 18, 2011

There's No "I" in "Has Been"

Tomorrow sees everyone's favourite rock and roll marital aids Nancy Vandal back in action at the 2011 Monster Session at Sydney Uni. NV shows are few and far between these days and one can forget just how volatile and dangerous the band can be. However by taking the correct precautions, punters can minimise their chances of common NV gig pitfalls such as demonic possession, bad shout management, and death.

Here are some tips to ensure you enjoy a safe and enjoyable evening.

1. Birth Control. 
NV boast 10000 times the level of sexual potency of your garden variety rock star and require no physical contact to render suitable mates pregnant. Unprepared Punters may find themselves with child as the result of a sultry gaze, blistering lead break or fumbled schooner glass. Male and females are equally at risk so remember your chastity belts people.

2. Absence of light.
God fearing punters should be warned Beezlebub attends every NV concert. He can be seen pressed against the stage nodding approvingly at the bands unholy sonic sermon and pleading for autographs post gig. Keep your soul tucked away safely in a fanny pack doused in holy water and avoid signing pacts or contracts of any kind. Best leave all quills, pens or markers of any kind at home.

3. Industry Buzz.
NV shows invariably attract a swarm of high flying record executives desperate to get the bands signatures on a lucrative record contract. Unfortunately for them NV's heroic punk rock ideals make such overtures a complete waste of time. However punters caught amidst the fruitless A&R feeding frenzy need to be careful lest they inadvertently get signed to a 6 album deal with Casablanca Records. See the advice given in [2] re writing devices.

In summary. Nancy Vandal gigs are a highly charged sexual environment, with elements of the occult and unsupervised supernatural forces seeking to bring about the end of days via sonic mind control and trained bats. Just use your common sense and have fun!

Tuesday, March 08, 2011

Lemmington Steele

In celebration of Motorhead's forthcoming visit to our shores, a dabble at the infinitely drawable Lemmy Kilmister...

Monday, February 28, 2011

The envelope please......

It's the highlight of the award show calendar. A glittering showcase that has industry bigwigs and star struck punters breathlessly hanging on the result. That's right - the Xray Studios Swear Word of The Month announcement is here! This interent phenomenon sees you the punter vie with like minded filth mongers for a chance to have your profanity appear in this website's masthead for an ENTIRE MONTH, delighting literally several visitors with it's wit and brilliance.

And the winner is....

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Bird is the word.

I've been continuing my long association with Aussie punk rock institution Frenzal Rhomb lately in providing them with some artwork for a forthcoming tour. You can behold it's Bird Attack themed goodness after the bump.

Speaking of Rhomb, Jay has been become quite a dab hand on the old Pro Tools/Macbook setup and the Frenzal demos he's recorded for the new album sound pretty killer. It has inspired me to get in touch with my own Brian Eno and mix a forthcoming project featuring Jay, myself, fellow Nancy Vandal alumni Tommy Lee Turnip and ex Your Mother force of nature Craigums. More to follow on that star studded sonic extravaganza.

Thursday, February 10, 2011

Zombies: An allegory for anything!!

When the NSW State Greens needed a hard hitting political satirist, they went to some other guy. When they wanted animated zombies - they came to me!!

Thursday, February 03, 2011

Bloody hell!

As everyone already knows, Xray Studios is all about popular competitions and funtastic giveaways. So it should come as no surprise to anyone that I am unveiling an all new ongoing prize opportunity for lucky Xray Studios punters EACH AND EVERY MONTH!!

To get involved all you have to do is forward a suggestion for the Xray Studios Swear Word Of The Month™. If your entry is judged the most meritorious by our panel of linguistic experts and street punks, it will not only feature on the Xray Studios website for that month, but also be immortalised in an original sketch valued at $450,000*. The sketches will be part of a series entitled Profane Robots of the 23rd Century and are one-off originals depicting a droid uttering the winning piece of  filth - mailed directly to the lucky winners abode.

Ready to have your smut transformed into an original piece of robo-art? Simply post your suggestion on the Xray Studios facebook page before the end of the month. Remember the judges are most impressed by outside-the-box-thinking [actually "box" isn't a bad suggestion]. Try using an arcane profanity that is rarely used anymore. Or a filthy sounding word or phrase that isn't really obscene at all. Or simply make up a new piece of impropriety by combining a garden variety term with "tits" or "balls".

After the jump is the February swear word "Rod" incorporated into #1 of the Profane Robots of the 23rd Century series. Will #2 be yours?

Get vulgar friendos.

* Value may be inflated.